my selfish desires

Posted on Saturday, June 9, 2012

I want to fly away and join in your singing.
Where I belong.  Where I do not have to learn
Or memorize or prove my worth.
I want to close my eyes to the rules
Of language and action, and, like you,
Spread open my wings freely.  Where I can rove
And soar.  Where I can rest in the shadow
Of others. Where I can follow and humbly
Listen to your song.  I want to make a wish
That will come true without the tears
That come from such a thought.  And I want to
Rest alone. Where I do not have to explain
The meaning for my joyous solitude.
I want to hide in tiny hearts
Of green leaves.  Where they never pull me down.
And shelter doesn’t turn it’s back on me
When nighttime comes and desires transform.
I want to sit and settle beneath the
Rooted vine and hold tight as we dig deep –
Like ivy crawling into it’s true shape.


behind the scenes

This is about letting go, not laziness.  Dive into imagination with me.  In this poem, I am a bird.  I was sitting by my window and heard the gorgeous song of birds, which I am strongly connected to.  While they were chirping, I thought, I want to join with you!  What bird isn’t allowed in the choir?  There is nothing to prove here, is there?

I just want to be free like a bird.  When I say, “I want to rest in the shadow of others,” I am bowing out of the ego.  Like a wife in loving submission, I am not forced; I want to be led in certain aspects of my life.  “I want to rest alone” tugs at my introverted nature, “where I do not have to explain the meaning for my joyous solitude.”  Enough said there.

When I write about hiding in tiny hearts of green leaves, I am still imagining myself as a bird, playing in the trees.  The last three lines of the poem, to me, are about going deeper internally as to who we are, where we are from, digging eagerly and with excitement about our roots as humans and our individual and collective history.


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